


Caffeine

by entropy_maximum (missjmelville)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Friendship, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjmelville/pseuds/entropy_maximum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney is having some problems, he goes to Carson for help.<i> "Ah...well...you see...um...I can't get it up," he said, eyes downcast and a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Caffeine

Rodney made his way in to the infirmary and on spotting Carson made a beeline towards him.

 

“Carson,” he looked around nervously, eyes darting to all the personnel walking around.

 

“Rodney,” noticing Rodney’s strange behaviour he frowned, “What’s the matter?”

 

“Um…can we…uh…go somewhere…private?” he asked looking towards Carson’s office.

 

“Sure, come in to my office,” Carson replied and they made their way there.

 

The doors closed behind them with a satisfying ‘click’. By this time, Carson was frowning hard and was giving Rodney a very concerned look, usually when there was something wrong Rodney would complain about it for all to hear, that he wanted privacy meant it had to be something big. After waiting for Rodney to tell him what was wrong, Carson decided to ask again.

 

“Rodney lad, what is it?” he asked worry evident in his voice.

 

“Ah…well…you see…um…I can’t get it up,” he said eyes downcast and a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

 

“Can’t get it…oh!” Carson’s lips twitched, he really shouldn’t laugh, he cleared his throat and looked over Rodney’s shoulder at the nurses outside, they wouldn’t need him for a while. “Rodney, it is very important that you tell me how many cups of coffee you have had today,” Carson said seriously, trying hard not to smile.

 

“How many…? Coffee?! What has this got to do with coffee?” Rodney asked, his voice rising a little higher than usual.

 

“Well Rodney, as caffeine increases blood pressure and it is well known that high blood pressure can cause impotence I would say it has a lot to do with this.”

 

Rodney just stared at Carson with a shocked look before he opened his mouth to say something, closed it, opened it again and finally found his voice.

 

“Well…um…probably about…uh…ten cups a day?” he said quietly wincing as Carson growled in the back of his throat.

 

“How many times do I need to tell you that you have high blood pressure? How many times do I have to tell you to stop drinking so much coffee? Rodney it’s a bloody wonder ye havnae had a heart attack!” Carson said, accent getting thicker as he became more fired up. To his credit, Rodney did look properly chastised and he nodded rather solemnly.

 

“So…uh…does this mean I have to…uh…give up coffee?” he asked as if the mere thought alone gave him pain.

 

Carson gave an exasperated sigh before calming himself with deep breathes. Once he felt he was sufficiently calm enough to deal with Rodney, again he answered.

 

“Yes, and I want ye to eat proper too, and if that means I have to drag ye from yer lab every day and watch ye eat then so be it!”

 

Rodney nodded sadly and then looked up at Carson again, “But I’ll be able to get it up again…right?” he asked, suddenly fearful.

 

“Yes, it may take a couple days but if ye give up yer coffee but yes, you should be able to ‘get it up’” Carson replied looking at his friend exasperatedly.

 

“Ok then…well, I’ll just be going now,” and with that said Rodney hurried out of Carson’s office and was gone in an instant.

 

Carson sat down an amused expression on his face and rubbed at his temples where he could feel a McKay-induced headache coming on. Now all he had to do was make sure Rodney followed his advice and ate properly. He was in for a long day tomorrow.


End file.
